Losing Everything: Running Without Direction

 By that time, I didn’t have a plan.

I didn’t know what I wanted.

But I knew one thing.

I didn’t want to stay.

The Decision to Leave

Life in Battambang felt stuck.

Every day was the same.

Wake up.
Work.
Take care of cows.
Sleep.

No school. No future. No change.

I kept thinking about the kids I saw riding to school.

That image stayed in my mind.

It didn’t leave.

One day, without telling anyone, I made a decision.

I left.

The Walk

I walked for about five kilometers.

No bag.
No clear destination.

Just walking toward somewhere that felt like movement.

The road was long.

Quiet.

And for the first time, I was completely on my own.

Strangers Who Helped

Along the way, I met a group of kids on bicycles.

They stopped and asked me where I was going.

I didn’t know how to explain everything.

But I told them enough.

Something about their reaction stayed with me.

They didn’t ignore me.

They didn’t laugh.

Instead, they collected some money and gave it to me.

It wasn’t much.

But it was everything I had.

The First Ride

I reached a place where taxis stopped.

I didn’t have enough money.

But one driver let me ride for free.

He took me to Phnom Penh.

The City

When I arrived, the city felt different.

Big. Busy. Alive.

As a kid, it looked beautiful.

Full of lights. Movement. Opportunity.

I remember thinking something strange.

Maybe being homeless in Phnom Penh is better than staying where I came from.

At least here, there was something.

Something new.

Something unknown.

The Pull of Home

But even with that thought, something inside me pulled me back.

Kampong Thom.

The place where I grew up with my grandparents.

That still felt like home.

So I decided to go back.

The Second Journey

I found another ride.

Again, I didn’t really have money.

So I helped the driver find customers.

At that time, there was no technology.

No apps. No online booking.

Drivers waited in one place and tried to get passengers.

When people arrived, drivers rushed toward them, trying to take their bags and convince them to get in.

I helped with that.

That was how I paid for my ride.

The Roof

There were many passengers.

Too many.

So I sat on the roof of the taxi.

The wind was strong.

The road was rough.

I knew it was dangerous.

But I didn’t care.

At that moment, it felt free.

Arrival

When I arrived in Kampong Thom, something felt wrong.

I got off the roof.

I looked around.

Everything looked familiar.

But it didn’t feel like home.

The Truth

Then I saw it.

There was no house.

Nothing.

The land was empty.

I already understood what happened.

My uncle had sold everything.

That’s why he took me in.

The Feeling

I stood there, looking at the place where my home used to be.

For a moment, I wanted to get back on the taxi.

Go back to Phnom Penh.

Become that homeless boy I had imagined.

Because at least there, I had a choice.

Here, I had nothing.

Pretending

A neighbor saw me.

He called out to me, thinking I was lost.

He told me I had arrived at the right place.

I didn’t say anything.

I already knew the truth.

But I acted like I didn’t.

Moving Again

I stayed with neighbors for a while.

Then my aunt came to take me to Siem Reap.

I went with her.

Because again, I had no other option.

The Same Feeling

Life there was not much different.

Still the countryside.

Still the same feeling.

I started to feel something clearly.

I was not wanted.

I was just moving from place to place.

Not belonging anywhere.