Losing Everything: Alone in the Capital

 The chance came again.

My mother’s youngest brother came to visit.

He talked about Phnom Penh.

The city sounded different. Bigger. Full of life.

This time, I didn’t hesitate.

I went with him.

Arrival at Midnight

We arrived in Phnom Penh at night.

It was already late.

The streets were still alive, but everything felt unfamiliar.

There was no place waiting for us.

No room. No bed.

We walked.

For a long time.

Kilometers.

Through streets I didn’t know, following someone I trusted because I had no other choice.

The Construction Site

We reached a construction site.

That was where we would stay.

No walls. No comfort.

Just an unfinished structure.

That night, I slept there.

The ground was hard. The air felt different from the countryside.

But I was too tired to think.

The First Morning

The next day started early.

Around 5 AM.

There was no slow start.

No time to adjust.

Work began immediately.

The Work

I became a construction laborer.

I carried materials. Lifted heavy things. Followed instructions.

The work was hard.

My body wasn’t used to it.

By the end of the day, everything hurt.

My arms. My back. My legs.

And I was always hungry.

The Small Things

We didn’t have much.

Sometimes, the older workers would catch frogs around the site.

They cooked them into soup.

That was our meal.

Simple. Basic.

But enough to keep going.

Nights Under the Tent

I slept under a tent.

Around me were cement bags, steel bars, unfinished walls.

When it rained, the sound hit the plastic above me.

Some nights, water came through.

The ground got wet.

Cold.

But there was nowhere else to go.

The Body Learns

After a few days, my body started to adjust.

Not because it became easy.

But because it had no choice.

Pain became normal.

Tired became normal.

Hunger became normal.

Left Again

After a few days, my uncle left.

He went his own way.

Just like that.

No long explanation.

No plan for me.

I stayed.

Alone again.

Living With Strangers

I worked with people I didn’t know.

I ate with them.

Slept near them.

Watched how they lived.

Learned by observing.

No one guided me.

No one taught me what to do next.

I just followed what was in front of me.

A Small Change

One day, the building owner noticed me.

He saw how I worked.

Maybe he saw something.

He offered me a job as a security guard.

A Small Space

It wasn’t a big job.

But to me, it felt like something.

I had a small station.

A place to sit.

A place to sleep.

A bit of stability.

After sleeping under tents, that felt like an upgrade.

The Question

But even then, something stayed in my mind.

A question I couldn’t answer.

What am I going to do with my life?

I was working.

I was surviving.

But I still couldn’t see a future.

The Thought

At night, when things were quiet, I thought about it.

I imagined something different.

Independence.

Freedom.

A life where I was not just surviving day by day.

I didn’t know how to get there.

But the thought stayed with me.

Not Enough

Even with the job, even with a place to sleep, something felt missing.

I wasn’t building anything.

I was just existing.

And deep down, I knew:

This was not where my life would stay.